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'I hit myself because of lover'

My boyfriend hardly looks at me although he buys me gifts and says he loves me. So, whenever I get angry or feel hurt and unwanted, I hit myself. I feel like dying! Help me.

india Updated: Jul 18, 2006 18:45 IST


'I hit myself coz of lover'

I have a serious problem. I hurt myself a lot when I get slightly angry or I feel hurt and unwanted. I am in love with my boyfriend but he hardly looks at me although he buys me gifts and says he loves me. I do all the household chores after returning from work and I feel bad when my boyfriend does not care and watches TV all the time. I can't talk to him except in bed because at other times the TV is on and loud. I do not mind the work but the lack of any concern from him hurts me. I feel disappointed and then I hit myself in the chest constantly until its blue. My boyfriend feels very bad about this and says he wants to understand why I torture myself so much. I explain what I felt at the time I was hitting myself but the result does not change anything. I seem to think that he does not have interest in me and I feel insecure and hurt him by not showing any trust. My boyfriend has refused to marry me for family reasons. I do not want to hurt my parents everytime so I have not told them everything. My boyfriend says he is with me even if his parents are not with him but he is not ready to commit the same to my parents so I keep my parents on hold as always and I am 29 already. This is the 5th time my marriage has broken in the past five years. I feel like dying thinking of all this but then I worry about how my mother will bear the loss of my death and try to survive. Career-wise I am a confident and successful professional and I live a comfortable life. Please advise me.


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My bust size is average but it is very loose and they look very bad and if I use tight brasier, I get rashes on my skin. My daily diet is two cups of tea, one bowl of any green vegetable, a bowl of dal, three chapatis and one apple. I also take some junk food whenever I feel hungry during my office hours. Please tell me some way to get my breasts in right shape and how to make it firm? Please guide me.


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Girlfriend says no to lovemaking

My girlfriend and I are sexually active but then we had a son and now she has no interest in lovemaking. I know sex isn't everything but to me it's much more than physical. We love each other very much, but she thinks my asking for "a little love time" is wrong because she made a choice not to make love and I should respect that or it will mean trouble for our relationship. I want to make love, but I don't want to lose her. I think she is going through postpartum but I know nothing about it or how long it last. Some advice would help.


Reply From Dr. Prem Lata Chawla:
I have no clue as to what kind of relationship or living arrangement you have created with this girlfriend, a love child and no sex. Whatever it is, you made a pact; you will have to respect it.


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Reply From Dr. Prem Lata Chawla:
AIDS cannot be diagnosed by visual inspection or physical examination of the sexual organs. The only protection from AIDS is the use of condoms. Never go for unprotected sex. There is only prevention; there is no protection after a session of unprotected sex. It is only a matter of chance that a person might escape.