Yes we Cannes?
I really wish I could be in Cannes to see India’s many triumphs. Look at Aishwarya Rai Bachchan all over the media. I feel so proud.
It certainly doesn’t take much to arouse your pride. But do tell me how she has furthered the cause of Indian cinema by appearing at Cannes.
Well she is in cross-over movies, she is in Pink Panther. It really shows that Indian cinema has arrived on the international scene.
Sorry, I missed her in Pink Panther. Was she in disguise? How many Indian movies are entered in the Cannes festival, if I may be so bold as to ask you.
Er, none, but look at all the attention that Ash is getting.
Please. Strutting around the red carpet in Roberto Cavalli does not mean that the world takes you seriously. Can’t quite see a schmaltzy Karan Johar tearjerker making the grade at Cannes, can you?
High-profile Indian actors do boost our image abroad, don’t they?
No, you dodo. Good cinema does. Slumdog Millionaire, which could loosely be called Indian, did not feature ageing actresses in designer threads. It showed India, warts and all.
I still think it’s important for us to project Bollywood. Don’t want foreigners showcasing all that’s wrong with us.
Right, let’s show them the usual Bolly fare like the local car mechanic wearing Versace romancing a multi-millionaire’s daughter in Switzerland. That’s cinema verite for you.
No, no, don’t you see, make-believe is our USP. Others from China and Spain may show life as it is, we show life as we want it to be.
Do say: This slum comes courtesy Armani.
Don’t say: Ash is our answer to Meryl Streep.