In a real fix now | india | Hindustan Times
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In a real fix now

Pakistan’s got it spot on. They won’t play ball unless the pitch comes with the pay.

india Updated: Aug 30, 2010 23:03 IST

Spot-fixing is now all the rage everywhere. Since a chap by the name of Mazhar Majeed was caught on tape counting the money he got from a British tabloid journo to get Pakistani bowlers to bowl three no balls in their match against England in Lord’s — we’d have bowled no balls for free! — everyone’s now playing the game. For instance, there could be a possibility that we were paid a nice little sum for putting in ‘possibility’ as the 66th word in this editorial. The fact that Mr Majeed was simply showing off his ability to make Pakistani cricketers do anything at his bidding may startle many people, punters included.

But for the reported sum of over £ 150,000 that Mr Majeed reportedly paid some of the players to ‘fix’ the Lord’s Test — poor England didn’t even get the luxury of basking in the glory of winning the Test — one would have expected something more dramatic: like the wicketkeeper streaking or Pakistan captain Salman Butt declaring that Kashmir is a legitimate part of India or bowler Mohammad Amir, announcing in the post-match ceremony while accepting the Man of the Series award that he’s gay.

Instead, the cricketing world and its uncle is het up about spot-fixing. We aren’t in a position to confirm or deny anything but just to show all of you that we are totally up for some strategic endorsements, we predict that we have the power to end this editorial on cricket and corruption with a word, say, ‘permafrost’, that has nothing to do with either subjects. For non-believers, all we can say is that we are unmoved by the Pakistani antics and the public show of horror. Nothing can melt our determination to make an income on the side. Like sunshine bouncing off, er, permafrost.