Is that an iPad under your arm?
No. It’s an iPhone for people suffering from gigantism.
Let me take a look. Wow. It does look like an iPhone except that it’s giant. But hang on, no camera?
Er, no. But it looks cool and it’s supposed to make everyone want to read, watch and listen to everything on this beautiful platform. And, here’s the best part, because you can take it everywhere you go and, unlike the iPhone can’t put it in your pocket, you can fall in love with it.
You mean like a pet?
What do you mean like a pet? [Strokes the iPad] Hear, kitty, kitty...
Er, so you think it’ll be as popular as the iPod and the iPhone?
Like all Apple products, a user can immerse himself in the machine. You don’t even know it’s a device; it’s more like a way of life.
Er, you’re now starting to freak me out. Does this mean that you will now read books on the iPad, sorry, giant-sized iPhone?
Of course. I will immerse myself...
Yeah, got that bit about immersing yourself in your spa. So can you do me a favour and play this video on it?
Sure. [Checks the DVD] Oh my god! I can’t play this! This isn’t any of the Matrix movies. It isn’t even a 3D movie!
Why doesn’t it play a normal movie like The Hurt Locker?
The special effects are so Microsoft!
Do say: Can I wear your iPad?
Don’t say: Does it have a shaver?