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Iruminating on confusion

india Updated: Aug 25, 2009 16:36 IST
Kunal Kapoor
Kunal Kapoor
Hindustan Times
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As I lie on the hot sands of Juhu beach, sipping my coconut water and staring into the brownish black waters, I think of all the wonderful mail I’ve got from you guys. I want to thank all of you, the gang of super sleuths who’ve been working really hard to solve cases that threaten mankind and womankind. I assure you that every letter of yours is read by me, Confuscious, and not by some agent or secretary. I’d be stupid not to, because you have provided me with answers, given me lots to think about and introduced me to some rather interesting terms like “tongue-slippingly handsome”; “dressed like a dog’s dinner” and “brain of a whole wheat loaf.”

It is thanks to you that the really tough case of “why women love bad boys” was solved. The answer was unanimous: bad boys are unpredictable and edgy which makes them appear exciting. And, it’s also a challenge to try and domesticate the beast, even if his IQ is one tenth of yours. But, these bad boys may be fun to date but when it comes to settling down it’s the stable sensible man you seek. Good choice.

A lot of people have been writing in saying they are really bad at judging people. I don’t think you should blame yourself for that. Super sleuth Chris Rock (yup he is one of us, he handles the American operations) says: “for the first six months people in relationships don’t really meet each other, they just meet representatives of each other.” Representatives that put their best face on. So, if in the first month she says, “baby don’t worry, a guy needs to hang out with his buddies,” six months later she’ll call you an “insensitive clod” for the same thing.

I also want to felicitate super sleuth Elita for introducing me to the rather interesting word ‘iruminate’. This apparently means to question without seeking any answers in particular. Her questions for irrumination(?) — “Why is my forecast never right and my mother never wrong?” and “Why is the grass greener on the other side, when the weather is perfectly conducive on this side?” Any answers people?

Here are some questions I came across that we can “iruminate” on: When guys hug each other why do pat each other on the back? Why are they so inaccurate when it comes to hitting the toilet seat but really accurate at sports? And one particular interesting one about women: Why do women always go to bathroom in packs. It can’t always be the make-up! When was the last time you saw four guys get together and say, ‘hey, you wanna go the bathroom?’.

And finally, thanks to super sleuth Mayuri for her encouragement.. She wrote: “Confusion is good news. It means you are searching and not sitting idle and accepting whatever some philosopher hundred years ago said... To question is to grow.” Till next week, happy ‘irruminating’ and keep writing in.