Is your partner losing interest in sex?
The rise in Internet pornography and stress and anxiety around work and money may have something to indicate, say experts. As a result, men are ruining their sex lives.india Updated: Feb 18, 2010 19:54 IST
A survey by Relate, a couples' counselling organisation, found the number of men who had no desire to have sex with their partners had increased by 40 per cent as compared with men ten years ago.
Paula Hall, a counsellor with Relate and the author of Improving Your Relationship for Dummies, said the rise in Internet pornography and stress and anxiety around work and money may have something to indicate.
“Twenty years ago, pornography was something you had to search out and buy. Now it's on every home computer, and more and more men are ruining their sex lives as a result, because they can meet their desires without their wife," the New York Daily News quoted Hall as saying.
She further explained: “Extreme emotional states, such as stress and anxiety, affect men's libidos very negatively. Huge numbers of men have lost their jobs, and many more are worried about losing theirs, or have to work extra hard to make up the work that used to be done by those who are now redundant. They go home to their wives with stress hormones coursing through their bodies, and they just can't feel arousal under those circumstances.”
Hall added: “In a few cases, men really do just want something new and different. But in most it's either a hidden resentment - for example, a man will feel that if his partner has gained weight it's because she can't be bothered to make an effort for him any more - or simply that he has stopped seeing her as a sexual being.''
But the most common explanation, according to Relate, was “relationship reasons. Many women don't realize that men's levels of desire are closely linked to other aspects of the relationship - just like theirs are.”
Michele Weiner Davis, author of The Sex Starved Wife, also pointed out: "As a society, we've perpetuated this myth about the ever-turned-on-male. But all my research suggests that the differences between the genders aren't as great as we've been led to believe."