SHOCKING. THEY’RE sipping brown fluids in Martini glasses, insisting on treating all men like jackasses, and often wearing sexpressions as if they had smoked too much of the wrong grasses.
Yet writer-director Amar Butala’s Kudiyon Ka Hai Zamana has the guts to come out for eye contact with the classes and the masses. Serious suggestion: don’t you go for it even if you’re stuck with free passes. Don’t even give them to your least favourite maamas and maasis.
Why? Reason One: whatever possessed Rekha to do this chicka-sick flick? It couldn’t be just for kicks because throughout she wears this awful pained Vicks Vaporub expression. Often she sips that Browntini and sings a premixed version of Din dhal jaaye, while sitting on a jhoola. Meanwhile her husband (Never Mind) looks violently turned-on as if he’d just sat on a burning choola.
Then there’s Mahima Chaudhary. A pea-brainer, she loves to win bets... any bet... with her closest girlie buds.
Then one foggy groggy day, the girlies gang up on her, swearing that they’ll get her married before she turns 25. Errr... if Mahimaji is below 25, then surely the moon is made of mayonnaise and cheese. Pleeease.
Next: Madame Mahima frightens you out of your skin when she walks into a hospital wearing a micro denim mini. Catastrophic, more blood curdling than The Exorcist, that moment even prompts the director to announce a hasty intermission just in case you’ve collapsed. Oof, you have.
Aargh, you need immediate medical attention. So does Vasundhara Das portraying a pregnant woman, wearing a stuffed takiya, and singing some vague number that sounds like, Pillow na tum to hum ghabraye... or some such. Eeesh.
Indeed, this Kudiyon Kurry is the most vacuous, vapid and vile thingamajig you’ve come across in recent or, for that matter, distant memory. Ashmit Patel, as a supposed hottie, is colder than Alaska. Plus four or five sidey males are insufferable. And the script ,believed to be derivative of the American soap Sex And The City, has neither sexuality nor urbaneness. Honestly, Butala’s direction is straight out of a wannabe Balaji K-tv serial minus the bahus (those shriekers are preferable, believe it or not, to the wacko specimens here).
Redeeming factors? Umm, the music score by Iqbal and Yasin Darbar is pretty easy on the ears. Easier on the eyes, Kim Sharma indicates that she can be a cute comedienne.
The year has just kicked off for the movies... but if Kudiyon... is any indication, then only divine intervention can prevent you from suffering more mental dehydration. Hello, hello, God are you listening?