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Last orders: The funset strip

It’s hard to believe that bachelor party cakes are actually banned in India, but apparently they are.

india Updated: Dec 07, 2012 18:04 IST
Serena Menon

It’s hard to believe that bachelor party cakes are actually banned in India, but apparently they are. I wonder why, though. It’s almost as bizarre as declaring a fatwa or filing a complaint against someone for painting a picture of a naked lady. Oh wait.

When a business veteran like Hiroo Gidwani, who owns Desserts ‘R’ Us (which has been around for 15-odd years in Colaba) said, “They are banned. In India, you’re not supposed to make naughty cakes. They reportedly promote obscenity,” I couldn’t help but choke on cheap icing. So, all those cakes made in the shapes of the human anatomy or those in suggestive positions, are illegal? In which case, sites like must not exist. And bachelor parties, of course, are a completely alien concept.

So what I saw a few months ago was probably a figment of my imagination: a celebrity partying away her last unmarried night at a bar. There was no naughty cake and her girlfriends weren’t going crazy dancing on top of the bar table. And that moment when she decided to give a random man an impromptu lap dance? Nope. It never happened.

Back in the real world, wedding season is upon us. Almost everyone I know is on some rampage to get hitched. And as a result, as a responsible friend, I have been attempting to organise a few of these young people pre-wedding parties. It didn’t take long to figure that women have it a lot easier when it comes to hen parties. Even if the police comes knocking at a bachelorette, the bride will first probably express amazement at the costumes, and then begin to panic when she finds out the guns in their holsters are for real. Some law-breaking will be involved in getting the cake, but it’ll have to be risked. Everything else, like the sash, the venue and the men needed to entertain are happily available for a price.

The toughest part about sealing a deal with a stripper, though, is the introduction. It’s so darn easy to sound offensive. So what do you say? “You… err… performed at so-and-so’s party a week ago?” I whispered, under my breath, and snap came the response, “Ah yes, I stripped for her. What would you like?” The rest of the chat with these artistes, most of whom have respectable day jobs, is as entertaining as the act. Those working within a budget usually go for the desi boys; they charge anything between Rs 15,000 and Rs 35,000 or more. But the exotic ones, I hear, come for a lot more (no cheap pun intended)