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Life without angularities

On family values, says the Dalai Lama, “If there is love, there is hope to have real families, real brotherhood, real equanimity, real peace. If the love within your mind is lost … no matter how much material progress is made, only suffering and confusion will ensue.” Have you ever reacted to a situation impulsively and later wondered why you reacted that way?

india Updated: Dec 22, 2011 00:27 IST
VN Chhibber

On family values, says the Dalai Lama, “If there is love, there is hope to have real families, real brotherhood, real equanimity, real peace. If the love within your mind is lost … no matter how much material progress is made, only suffering and confusion will ensue.” Have you ever reacted to a situation impulsively and later wondered why you reacted that way?

Decisions have to be taken, but not post-haste, without reason. Without enough awareness of the gap between stimulus and response, there is no real freedom of choice. You are just the product of your conditioned responses. Allowing yourself to react automatically will evoke the old feelings of anger, fear, sadness or jealousy that can only further discord, misunderstanding and regret.

Using the human capacity of self-awareness, imagination, conscience and independent free will, you can exercise this freedom that is even larger than the freedom of your opponents or enemies. You could choose your own response to anything that stood in your way.

Your wisdom will reduce complex situations to simple ones and you will become a genius. This approach eventually makes you an inspiration to others. Between happening and response, there is a space. In that space is your power to exercise your response wherein lies your growth and uniqueness.

Space always exists between situation and response; you hardly have to strive for it. Your freedom of choice lies in becoming increasingly aware of this gap, using it wisely, making it into your ‘zone of considered and considerate decision’.

If within the in-between space, you take a moment to breathe deeply, decide not to always want to ‘win the argument’ etc., then it will prove that you want a favourable outcome for everyone.

Imagine having the magic power that could freeze time long enough to the most appropriate response, in any given situation.

In time it should become more natural to respond in a way that promotes harmony. The Buddha had stressed that which is most needed is a loving heart.