Last year, the Desi Momz Club — a group blog of women known as ‘Mommy bloggers’, or in non-web-geek language, women who blog almost exclusively about their children — picked Mother’s Day as its theme for the month of May. And so, over the course of four weeks, the club’s 75 members wrote some 20 posts honouring motherhood.
Kodi’s Mom, a blogger with a two-year-old son, wrote: ‘Motherhood is… learning to laugh instead of yell, when your toddler empties a large box of dry beans on the floor and throws some on himself,’ and signed off with, ‘Happy Mother’s Day, Comrades’. Others recapped their own experiences as new mothers: Poppin’s Mom wrote of her different phases of motherhood, from obsessive to insecure to condescending and finally to a confident, happy mother.
Some, like mother-of-two blogger Tharini (who uses her real name even though most other bloggers use pseudonyms), wrote online paeans to their mothers. ‘It’s not important to have the perfect kind of mother... the crux is...the kind of mother you have is the kind of mother you need,’ she writes in an essay that attempted to explain her complicated relationship with her mother.
For all these young mothers, this online community has become a source of support. As Mad Momma, a 29-year-old mother-of-two in Delhi, tells me over the phone (while refusing to reveal her real name), “A lot of us would have had post-partum depression without each other. We don’t live in joint families and don’t have mothers or sisters to cry to. So these women have become my family and friends instead.”
This year, the Desi Momz aren’t planning to repeat the Mother’s Day theme all month long, but some members have put up posts on their personal blogs. Mad Momma has some tips for to-be-mothers and other mothers as a “practical celebration of Mother’s Day.” ‘A ticking alarm clock or a TV on in the background used to make (the kids) sleep well because it is said to sound like a heartbeat, something they were used to in utero,’ she offers. ‘Don’t be afraid of squashing your baby when you are sleeping next to him or her,’ she adds.
Other Mommy bloggers are planning to mark Mother’s Day in their own way. “This year’s post will be about my mother and her challenges. I am at the threshold of parenting two kids, and drawing lessons from my childhood observations on how she executed her role flawlessly,” says Kodi’s Mom.
Poppin’s Mom, expecting her second baby in August, is planning a post on why she chose to undergo pregnancy and childbirth all over again, while WunderYearz has dedicated a long post to an aunt who has cancer. ‘The Mother I’m talking about is my aunt. In whose house most of my weekends were spent during childhood. She is an awesome cook, creative and a lady of few words… Just wishing that she does not have to suffer any more,’ she says, in a touching post.
However, Under The Banyan Tree, has a different view. ‘All this commercialisation around Mother’s Day bothers me. I wonder if people really grasp the whole ‘mother’ thing or if they are just being opportunistic to sell their goods,’ she says.