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Man, you can do

india Updated: Jan 18, 2010 19:53 IST
Jaydeep ghosh
Jaydeep ghosh
Hindustan Times
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I pity those men whom I see holding on to their wives’ handbags as they are busy murmuring naughty somethings to beefy hunks. You know what’s frightening? I am seeing these sights pretty often now in Delhi.

But hey, it’s nothing new. Some of history’s most celebrated and powerful men were cut down to size by the women in their lives. Samson was famously laid low by Delilah. Ronald Reagan called his wife ‘Mommy’. Even John Lennon fell victim to Yoko, who reportedly left cat turds in his path to remind him who was boss.

Everywhere I look these days, I see the telltale signs of submission: pathological obedience, holding on to madam’s precious Giuseppe Zanoti sling backs as she goes into

Mata Rani’s

temple, couples Pilates and other such public humiliation. It all starts with the elaborate


, but it doesn’t end there. You are patiently waiting for her as she takes ages to buy nail enamel and lipsticks and then meekly sit at the parlour as she gets her mane highlighted; worse even submit to her request of sitting side-by-side and getting yours too highlighted in the same shade.

I know my lady friends will hate my guts to read about things they make their hubbies do, which labels them as ‘henpecked husbands’. I have seen some of my married friends take a day off from work to give company to mommy-in-law because the wife wouldn’t skip her kitty. I have also seen guys let their wives shop for their entire wardrobe. They then end up looking like jokers in clothes that are a total contrast to their personal styles.

Doesn’t it look so stupid when a guy walks two steps behind his wife and then stands at the corner in a nightclub holding her bag and her drink as she burns the dance floor in a little black dress? Then there is this ‘dodo’ who had to literally bribe his wife to get pregnant through IVF in order to bear a male child. He should have gone in for a surrogate mother and he would have been happier.

But you guys don’t worry. A men’s mag recently came out with a list of top 25 henpecked husbands and the list had names like Bill Gates, Rupert Murdoch and Guy Ritchie. You are in good company.

I came across an amusing article about a man being accused of being a coldblooded murderer. He defended himself by saying he was henpecked, therefore, could not be evil. The statement cracked up the prosecutor because he felt henpecked husbands are actually the worst type of people. The prosecutor convinced the jury that henpecked husbands are usually top managers, ruthless lawyers, and the shrewdest of businessman.

To the general public, these guys are the toughest and cruelest buggers. But in their homes, they get whipped. So, they take out this deficiency on people outside their homes. Guess what, the prosecutor actually won that case! Whoever said that females were the weaker sex was obviously not a henpecked man.