They sound the same, yet one single word in the middle alters the meaning completely. Which led me to think that in the whole Mars/Venus discussion that sprang up with my fellow columnist Imran Khan, was it the ‘and’ or the ‘vs’ that we were propagating?
The banter was great fun, but I wondered whether in our playful attempts to put forth our points, we somehow insinuated that change was the order of the day. Did we lead you to believe that Mars/Venus could only co-exist if we changed each other? Let me clarify.
First and foremost, I have a great respect for individuality and for the many things that go into making each person unique. Our individual facets are what attracts other people to us and vice versa. But the minute a relationship is formed (of any kind).. problems occur. In our quest to make the relationship work, we either try to change the other person to suit the mould we have created in our heads or change ourselves to fit the mould they have created!!!
For a relationship to prosper, it is important not to lose sight of individuality — your own and your partner’s. Khalil Gibran said: “Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping; for only the hand of Life can contain your hearts; and stand together yet not too near together; for the pillars of the temple stand apart, and the oak tress and the cypress grow not into each other’s shadow!”
What a boring world it would be, if everyone was alike.. wouldn’t you agree? How antiseptic our lives would be if every relationship was exactly what we wanted to be. You have to take the good with the bad, and it is important to accept that every person will come with their own set of virtues and vices. It adds spice, variety and a certain degree of mystery!
When I began my ‘Sister Series’, the intention was more to educate than to change. But judging by the responses, I think the intention was misunderstood. But the feedback has made my resolve stronger — my series will continue, I will stick to my promise to create a manual and I will put Imran through the induction course.
More and more, I see the need for Mars AND Venus to understand each other, to know that they can be who they want to be and not be ashamed of it; to throw light on the fact that change is not always good, especially when one is trying to alter the other.
Having said that, the time has come for certain change. Granted, Mars and Venus ARE two planets, but they do co-exist in the same universe! Learn to appreciate, savour and accept the individuality of every person and every relationship. Because at the end of the day, love makes the world go round.