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Misplaced optimism

india Updated: May 30, 2012 14:38 IST
Serena Menon
Serena Menon
Hindustan Times
Serena Menon

The fact that along with credit cards, voter IDs and driving licenses, partygoers will now have drinking permits weighing their wallets down has led to loads of discontentment. This city’s nightlife has been cornered. Redundant laws are being used to extort the fun out of our lives — suddenly making sure adults carry licenses to drink, is more important than catching criminals.

Be it the silly 1.30 am deadline, rampant over-crowding violations, surprise raids and now these chits of paper, those who want to party are more or less being shown the door… to their houses, in this case. Here are some of the few things that we’ll be left with as options for a Saturday night. Or are they?

* Long drives: A big bottle of mild beer: Rs 69, one litre of petrol: Rs 78. Choose your fuel wisely.
* Board games and cards nights: Avoid Teen Patti and Monopoly, they’ll probably break into your house and charge you under some archaic
prevention of gambling law.
* Karaoke evenings: Sober singers = Antakshari on bus ride to Mahabaleshwar = #saturdaynightfail.
* Late night walks: At about 9.45pm, I was asked to leave a promenade in Bandra because the cops told me “yaha mudder hote hain”. Maybe if they’d stop raiding clubs, more important issues, like this could be dealt with.
* House parties (only with energy drinks): Recently, a report claimed that cops walked into a house party of 11 in Colaba, suspecting it to be a rave. Then, they’d have claimed that ‘someone’ had complained, and finally settled for RS 2,500 and a bottle of something that was not water.
* Hukkah parlours: Steer clear of these unless you’re really out to get your picture in the papers.
* Late night snack: Salman Khan recently tweeted saying, “Haji Ali juice center shuts at abt 12? Wow. Now that’s really sad, wonder y? Used to have juice n pizza’s at 5am. (sic)” Carry your own sports equipment in case you’re heading to Amar Juice Centre.
* Watch movies online: Oh wait, they’ve just blocked vimeo.com, which actually insists on original content.
* Read a good book: Because unwinding with a gin and tonic and reading have the same effect on people? There’s a catch here too. Don’t go out looking for Rohinton Mistry’s Such A Long Journey or the likes, unless you want to get arrested.

There’s little you can do after dark in a city without nightlife. And many of these fears may feel far fetched right now, but at the rate at which it’s going, don’t be surprised if you start envying Bangalore for its stress-free 11 pm deadline.