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Natural stimuli

india Updated: Feb 15, 2009 22:58 IST

Trust the Rashtriya Swayamsewak Sangh (RSS) to show us the way out of all problems. Now some of you may be worrying about how to keep your heads above the water, given the economic downturn. But have no fear, the RSS way is sure to have you raising your glass, though what may be in it may be a bit of a surprise cocktail. If India’s future lies in its villages, the RSS knows just how to make things work. Cow urine, dung and other byproducts are its answer to kickstarting rural economies. Now for those of you who may hold your noses at this prospect, let us tell you that the saffron brigade is second to none when it comes to marketing these items.

If you are worried about your hair falling, well, lather up with a bit of cow urine shampoo. You may not be the most popular in the odour stakes after this, but keep bovine preservation at the top of your mind. And if the patriot in you does not quail at this, try to keep your pearlies intact with, wait for it, cow dung toothpowder. Maybe you may want to sit a while and think things over before rushing to your nearest gau raksha pharmacy. Well, the RSS has thought of your comfort even then in the form of fine furniture and easy on the eye sculpture. No longer do you need to ask that familiar question ‘how now brown cow?’

The RSS has told you exactly how to resolve that dilemma of how to waste not and want not.