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'No sex in relation'

india Updated: Jul 13, 2006 18:14 IST


Girlfriend says no to lovemaking

My girlfriend and I are sexually active but then we had a son and now she has no interest in lovemaking. I know sex isn't everything but to me it's much more than physical. We love each other very much, but she thinks my asking for "a little love time" is wrong because she made a choice not to make love and I should respect that or it will mean trouble for our relationship. I want to make love, but I don't want to lose her. I think she is going through postpartum but I know nothing about it or how long it last. Some advice would help.


How to detect AIDS before sex?

I am a 30+ man working in Korea as an engineer. I want to have a sexual relationship with a woman before marriage. But I am worried about AIDS. Is it possible to diagnose AIDS patients without having sex? If one, unknowingly, indulges in sex with an AIDS patient, what are the necessary steps one should take to protect himself from the disease?


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How can I stop my sexual urge?

I am 40-years-old and my wife has cancer. Both of her breasts have been removed. She cannot take hormone pills so she takes hormone blockers. I want to have sex but she is not game for it. It's been over an year now and I am going crazy! I would be glad to take something to stop my sexual urges. I try to jerk off but what else? Please help.


Reply From Dr. Prem Lata Chawla:
Human sexuality is lot more than flesh pumping. In fact, human sexual energy (libido) is the fountainhead of all creative energy. It is just a matter of channelising it. You have been provided with an opportunity to help another human being - your wife- to rediscover her femininity all over again. You can use all of your sexual energy  gently, affectionately and persuasively to get her ready for saying 'hello' to life. Help her to agree for breast reconstruction surgery. This surely will improve her self-image and build up her self-esteem. All this effort might bring some romance back in life; it sure will bring some peace in your troubled mind.


To have or not to have?

I'm a 33-year-old married man with two children. I've always had negative thoughts about sex. When I got married, I thought I'm having erectile dysfunction but after some time found out that I have no problems at all. After that, from last four months I'm suffering from premature ejaculation. I always last for less than a minute. I tried wearing two condoms and found out that it lasts longer but still something is missing. I always get doubts about sex and am not able to concentrate. Otherwise, I have no problems with my wife. How do I overcome this problem?


Reply From Dr. Prem Lata Chawla:
Your problem suggests that you are either suffering from primary Obsessive Compulsive Disorder or Recurrent Depressions with obsessive-compulsive symptoms. It is time to consult a Psychiatrist for proper diagnosis and management. You must not suffer in silence as both these disorders are treatable and the management is not very complicated or difficult.