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Nurture honesty, says Cyrus

I am 17 and my boyfriend is 18. I think he isn’t serious about me.

india Updated: Sep 24, 2012 19:52 IST

I am 17 and my boyfriend is 18. I think he isn’t serious about me. When I asked him if he would leave me in the future, he had no answer. I want to know if he really loves me or is he just attracted to me. Please suggest some means of finding out if he’s serious about me.
— Siddhi Kadam

Siddhi, you have just received the first honest answer from a man since Christopher Columbus asked Chief Nahatito for directions to India and he answered, “turn left and then keep going in circles”. I actually like your guy, he could have gone with the done-to-death insincere ‘never ever’, but instead told you the absolute truth, he doesn’t really know. I say nurture him and treasure him. Honesty is as difficult to get as support is from Mamta Banerjee.

I’m 30 and have been single all my life. Finally, last month I met a guy. He is good and there is no reason why I should not pursue this relationship. Let’s call him M for clarity sake. But recently, in an awkward situation, my single boss, (let’s call him B) who is in his mid 40s, expressed his liking for me and wants a future together. I have never imagined my life with B, though he is also a good friend. We do share a lot in common. My head often gets into rationalising and considering this possibility, but not my heart as of yet. Until B proposed, I was willing to consider spending my life with M, whom I just met a month ago. With this logic, I might as well consider B. I have known him for over 10 years and in either, case there is no love involved. I would have liked to explore the possibility with either of them, but not simultaneously for sure, as my conscience does not let me take this double-dip. I have to let one go. Which one should it be?
— Runner

Congratulations, you’ve just sent the longest letter a newspaper has ever received. Frankly, I fell asleep by the seventh page. Just kidding. It was the eigth. Okay. You have both M and B as options. Let’s apply the TV rule. Finnish scientist B Jong Skaslear said that when you go to a shop to buy a television set, you sit and compare the different sets before making a decision. Don’t do the same with love. One — because TVs are more expensive and two — because love doesn’t come in different colours. You’ve answered your three-volume epic question when you say in either case there is no love. No love means no great desire or passion. These are terrible signs. I say avoid both and wait for the right letter in the alphabet.

I am a 22-year-old Bengali girl studying in Mumbai. I’m in love with a guy from another community and caste. He is also very poor. Hence, my parents disapprove of him. I really love this guy, but I don’t want to defy my parents. This guy and I plan to get married this November. I have to make a choice. What should I do?
— Confused Soul

Confused soul? What’s there to choose? On one hand you have bigots, on the other, you have love. If you’re a practising Nazi, please stay with your parents. Otherwise, the answer is as clear as Sachin’s straight drive. Normally, I don’t like to bad-mouth other people’s unless I’m two drinks down, but what is wrong with yours? Which age are they stuck in? Your hubby-to-be is willing to take on the whole world for you. Please show some courage and heart. Tell your parents that it’s this kind of attitude that pushes people into getting green cards.

just write to uncle cy
cyrus@hindustantimes.com
And I’ll give you some relief…. err… that is, provided, I’m not doing a headstand at the time.