Only if you don't value the greatest gift — of life

  • Smriti Dabas, Hindustan Times
  • Updated: Aug 11, 2014 10:23 IST

Being unhappy with someone begets infidelity and disrespects the person you are with; It disrespects your commitment towards your relationships. And if you are not the best version of you then you really lack self-love, clearly why you are with a person that you don't love anymore. A relationship is not a compulsion, neither is marriage – a death do us apart Life Insurance.

"If spending time with your partner no longer excites you, or you find yourself generally unhappy in your relationship, would you still continue to pursue it?"

Answer is you could; if you have no value, of the greatest gift given to you, of Life.

Answer is you could; if you value the preaching, conformity that has been fed to us since birth. You could; if you are a tree, if you can't move. You could, if you are an animal, incapable of thinking larger than what's been told to you. You could, if you are scared of the unknown.

Personally, I won't. I might come off as a cynic but I would rather use a different tap to wash my face than keep on struggling with the one where water (Love) has run out, whilst hoping it will start functioning, probably because I am just lazy to find a new one. You might be respecting the commitment you made to someone, while doing this and GREAT! World needs people like you!! But I would rather have the body I love, Life I love and the job I love; and I am ready to find faults in it and work on it, than continue with what I have because I already have invested too much time in it.

Imagine you invested in a stock, does it make any sense for you to hold it when it clearly cannot generate any returns? When you know for sure, that it will only get worse? Will you hold it because ONCE it was a blue chip and ONCE it was a dividend Aristocrat? You could, I won't.

I greatly value my existence, I am grateful and humble to be a part of this Life; I want to use the brain I am given to think and question what's been taught; I want to be happy and I want people to be happy because of me. I don't want to be a living dead inside an invisible Coffin.

I used to work as a Store Manager in one of the leading International Apparel brands; I loved my job for a year, I would over time, over work, stay happy. It helped in motivating my staff because they saw how happy working there was until my love for Retail ran out and I noticed the faults that one only can, with time. So, apparently I quit my job and stayed unemployed for a year(fought through the temptations of returning back to the industry that was ready to take me with good salary) to finally have a coveted job in Stock Market; while most of my colleagues are still in Retail, still working weekends and Public Holidays and still complaining.

It's the courageous that lets go of the known and moves on to the unknown. I don't want to sound promiscuous or infidel or unreliable, but It's not me to smile to a face that doesn't make me happy. You could waste years of your life trying to work out with someone, learning every day it won't ever work, noting down why it won't, promising yourself you will be wiser no matter how difficult it is, swearing you will never text, and then believing it will work when he condescends to apologise; Like a piece of cloth in washing machine, Rinse & Repeat.

And trust me, I may sound like an Escapist or detached person, but I am a very determined person.. almost to a fault; I can, if nothing, vouch for my persistence and resolve. I don't know how to quit if I put my eyes on it, no matter how hard it gets… and I learnt that sometimes letting go is more important than cringing over the uncomfortable idea of finding a different pair of arms that will hold you.

Problem with us is we are taught that happy endings are eternal. That happy ending is meeting someone and never parting ways. What If happy ending was walking away from anything that doesn't make you happy? Isn't that really a HAPPY ending?

I changed my job because I wasn't happy anymore. I could have stayed there and thought over it everyday, never been able to perform well, love it with half of my heart and then one day wake up 5 years late, wishing I had not over thought it, but just quit and found something that made me feel alive, and grateful to be alive. If you don't love your body, you could complain every day, grow insecure, hate someone that is fit, get all worked up and irritated when you have to go out somewhere special OR you could leave your bed and run and get the body you love.

If settling down is your call, and you have found someone that wants to share your favourite movies and work-gossip and bed with you, then I am really happy for you.

But if you are with someone and unhappy, then do let me know because you make me happy for myself! Letting go, honestly, is one of the hardest things. But I have learnt with lost time, experience and sobriety that some relationships are like tangled earphones or gum stuck to your hair or wrongly done eye make-up; the more effort you put into solving it, it will only and only keep getting worse. Only solution is to wash your face, and apply new make-up or cut off the strand of your hair; or if you are lucky then your relationship is the tangled ear phones, just take out time and work it out.. only if both of you are fighting for it. If it's only you with the shield and armor, You will get tired fighting alone a battle made for two.

And I would rather be single or looking than be sharing the worse Me with someone that's had the misfortune to fall in and out of love with me.

Full Coverage: HT-MaRS Youth Survey 2014

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