I notice that you've been relentlessly beetling around on Facebook for the last couple of days. Perchance you are communing with Angelina Jolie?
Please, you plebeian soul. I am a cut above some goldfish-lipped actress. I am in communication with Her Majesty the Queen, who has joined the social network on Monday.
By the Lord, does the old girl know how to use a keyboard?
Oh, ye of little faith. Buckingham Palace already has a Twitter account and a YouTube channel of its own. In fact, Liz is so tech-savvy that she loves emailing her grandchildren. Now with Facebook, she wants to reach out to a larger audience and keep her subjects updated on royal activities, decisions and ceremonies.
What? The House of Windsor will now address the masses through family photographs and anecdotes about Prince Philip's gaffes?
Look, the royal family has been living in a la la world for so long, what difference if they move to a virtual one? The Queen's webpage has already attracted over 2 lakh visitors. And it's just been two days!
Maybe our politicians can also let it all hang out on Facebook? That should keep you busy.
Please, why should I follow a common and garden politician when I am on a blue-blooded page.
Do say: Don't ever poke Lizzie
Don't say: Her life is an open Facebook