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Osa-ba-ma

Do you think sitting here in Davos, clean-shaven and dressed as a Greek ex-banker, I’d like to go back in those caves? The reason I came here to meet you...

india Updated: Sep 08, 2010 21:48 IST

Osama, you seem to be in a jolly good mood today! What gives?

Ah, Obama. My Taliban brothers took out Ahmed Shah Masoud in Afghanistan exactly 11 years ago.

Yes, all eyes were on Afghanistan for a couple of days longer until...

Sigh. Yes, till the day we took out the World Trade Center......that led to George Bush’s war against Saddam Hussein’s Iraq......that led to making things easier for us in Afghanistan......that led to making things easier for me. But tell me Osama. Don’t you feel frustrated that al-Qaeda’s not in the news any more.

What?! You thought the plan was to stay in the news? Ha ha! [winces] Ooh, my kidney...

You mean you don’t have any plans to strike against America anymore?

Do you think sitting here in Davos, clean-shaven and dressed as a Greek ex-banker, I’d like to go back in those caves? The reason I came here to meet you...Yes, yes. Your ratings are down, you’re having problems with your middle name, people think you’re a communist. You want another terror threat, right?

Er, no. I was wondering whether you could liquidate the lily-livered liberal media in the US who’ve grown tired of my superhuman status.

Obama, anything for you.

Thank you, Osama. Excuse me, could we have another round of martinis please?

Do say: Have they found Donald Rumsfeld yet?

Don’t say: How about a church at the Ground Zero site?