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Please Watch This Film

Why is DK Bose on the run? How, just how, is he related to Poonam Pandey? Why is Jalebi Bai hooked on to jalebis? And how exactly do Munni and Sheila fit in? The Fake Jhunjhunwala tries his hand at solving this perplexing mystery.

india Updated: Jun 29, 2011 16:24 IST
Fake Jhunjhunwala
HINDUSTAN TIMES

I do not understand what is happening in songs these days. I have heard this song called

'Bhaag DK Bose'

from the soon to be released

Delhi Belly

and all I can wonder is,




Who is this DK Bose and more importantly why is he running?



Is DK Bose a man or a woman?



Is he/she running out of his own free will or has this person been forced to run against his/her will by the inglorious producers of Delhi Belly?

And what exactly does the DK in DK Bose even indicate? Is DK to be taken at face value alone and understood as Bose's initials or is DK actually a precursor to the DMK Political Party of Tamil Nadu from a time when the DMK was known only as the DK party?


Is It Normal For These People To Make Poor DK Bose Run For The Sake Of Their Film?

Maybe DK is actually a code name for that model

Poonam Pandey

who promised to strip if India won the World Cup and is now on the run from prospective 'viewers' after not getting what was promised.



Or DK could stand for another Poonam, Oh I Don't Know, say a certain

Ms. Poonam Saxena

, Editor of HT Brunch who once borrowed a Rupee from me to make a phone call and ever since has been running from me.



Now it's taken me a while to get over Munni and Sheila's antics in their songs.



While I wholeheartedly appreciate Munni's immense self sacrifice which she amply displays by promising to become

badnaam

every time, I fail to understand how she can keep up another commitment:



The one about becoming, yes BECOMING

Zandu Balm

[

Mein Zandu Balm Hui Darling Tere Liye] because Zandu Balm as we all know is a MUSCLE RELAXANT most commonly used for sprains and so on

.

So why would Munni in her right mind even want to become a Muscle Relaxant? Huh!



Meanwhile don't even get me started on Sheila.



I know that some genius somewhere would be rushing to point out that these are just songs and I shouldn't take them literally. While I agree with this in principle I cannot tolerate the blatant incessantness. The tortures that people in these songs endure for the sake of the film are just ridiculous.

DK Bose's running and Munni offering to become Zandu Balm muscle relaxant is just the tip of the iceberg. There are many more out there in Hindi songs doing things far worse....


Take the latest case of Mallika Sherawat from Double Dhamaal who has become a Jalebi Bai. A poor woman forced to make Jalebis for our sake.



How sad can the film situation in our great country be when a woman has to sing about jalebis, so far as to have the good television media follow her into sweet shops as she makes jalebis across cities?


I leave you with the words of Rapper Snoop Dogg whose words from the video

'Twisted Transistor'

by the band KoRN can be slightly changed to describe the current situation:



"This Song Ain't About No Booty, It's About Jalebis, You Dig?!"

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