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Pointless surveys

It doesn’t need an expert to conduct a survey - there are entire sites to creating surveys that you can register on. Rahul Sabharwal tells more.

india Updated: Sep 03, 2008 16:04 IST
Rahul Sabharwal

Nine out of ten people will find it useful to read this article on useless surveys. Maybe not, but if you’ve come across even one of the innumerable surveys that the internet doles out to its viewers everyday, this shouldn’t surprise you.

Kicking off the list is the never-ending list of surveys that contradict each other — coffee is bad for health, no it’s not, yes it is — trying to reach a conclusion means having to drown yourself in a pool of coffee anyway. What makes them so bad is that they aren’t based on medical facts but by talking to a group of people who are apparently the representatives for the whole world.

A survey recently proclaimed that men spend more time thinking about football than sex. A few lines and a lot of gasps later, you find out it’s based on a survey of 800 men out of which only 280 responded. Women need not be offended since a few days later a survey retaliated saying women prefer chocolates to sex. Another one proclaimed that chocolates gave a boost to their sex lives. One would think half the world’s population would be munching on Hershey’s the next day but the number of those questioned was 163.

Then there are the ones that are so useless that they don’t even warrant a reaction. More people use blue toothbrushes then red ones, 40 per cent of American adults cannot fill out a bank deposit slip correctly, two-thirds of men wear briefs, 22 per cent wear boxers — wish there was a survey on what’s the logic behind these surveys. A survey found out that 15 per cent prefer cold pizzas. You need a survey to find out that 85 per cent don’t?

And it doesn’t need an expert to conduct a survey — there are entire sites to creating surveys that you can register on. Like the infinite number of “love surveys” that you find online that are taken by a lot of love-struck teens with more than ample time on their hands.

So here’s to absolutely useless surveys and the fact that whenever you go online, someone will be telling you stuff that you don’t need to know.