Politics. ‘Because I’m worth it’ | india | Hindustan Times
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Politics. ‘Because I’m worth it’

So Madonna is showing tell-tale signs of a ‘ribbon’ tuck. It yanks up her saggy bits and makes her face look young apparently. It’s a procedure that costs about 6,000 dollars, we’re told. But really, Madge could’ve saved some money and become young for free. All she had to do was join an Indian political party.

india Updated: Mar 07, 2009 20:56 IST

So Madonna is showing tell-tale signs of a ‘ribbon’ tuck. It yanks up her saggy bits and makes her face look young apparently. It’s a procedure that costs about 6,000 dollars, we’re told. But really, Madge could’ve saved some money and become young for free. All she had to do was join an Indian political party.

It’s seriously galling how if you work in the corporate sector, or in IT or in Law or in Journalism or whatever you’re considered ‘old’ by the time you’re forty. Young guns in their twenties start snapping at your heels. You’re jaded, over the hill and out-of touch with everybody’s favourite target audience — The Youth. If you are a Bollywood actress, then toh forget it — your career is fully over at 30 only. You’ll be offered mummyji roles and pink newspapers will run whole features on how so-and-so has been dropped as the face of x chocolate and y cold drink because she’s too ‘old’.

But a forty-year-old politician…ah! A forty-year-old politician is practically a spring chicken! He is shot doing ‘young’ macho things like playing guitars and golf and tapping away at a laptop. He sports boyish fashions, frequents cricket matches and rock concerts. Never mind that he may have two-two children and serious wattage on his birthday cake. He’s ‘young!’ (If I sound insanely jealous, it’s because I am.) It’s a bit like Akshay Kumar playing a school boy. Or Sridevi playing a kachi kali. Positively kinky.

In today’s politics 40 is the new 16. And 80 is the new 40.

I’m kind of wondering how all the parties with hard-core Hindutva leanings seem to have forgotten the Hindu concept of Brahmcharya (from birth to 25), Grahastya (25-50) VanyaPrasth (50-75) and Sanyaas (75 onwards)? Isn’t that written in our shastras? Surely, most of this Bypass Brigade should be wandering through forests (or whatever’s left of them) earning brownie points from God?

Would anybody in the private sector ever appoint an 80-plus dude to run a company? Would the army? Or the civil services? That too at great expense, through national election? I mean, no offense, but supposing they die. Then what? Anyway, here’s my gharelu nuska for you ‘old’ corporate sector types in your forties. If you’re dogged by wrinkles, age spots, paunches or prostrate trouble —don’t bother with L’Oreal, Olay, Kareena Kapoor’s diet or Sande ka tel. Just polish your oily smile, get yourself some khadi clothes and sign up with the Haath, the Kamal or the Haathi. You’ll look and feel young instantly!

Anuja Chauhan is proud to say that she works in advertising! She is also the author of the best selling The Zoya Factor.