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Primitive cool

india Updated: Aug 26, 2010 00:53 IST

Hindustan Times
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Why are we dressed like this again?

Shut up! Didn't I tell you to stick to Kui, the language the Dongria Kondhs speak. We'll be in deep golden gecko shit if anyone finds out that we're actually from Singur, West Bengal and not from here in the Niyamgiri hills, Orissa.

I'm feeling a bit silly wearing only this silly headgear.

We have to look like Dongria Kondhs! Unless you want to go back to Singur. Remember how we were told that we'll be given those disgusting houses with flush toilets and a job at the factory? We were told to leave our ramshackle hovels and stop farming on our 6x6 ft land?

Oh yes. They even told us to switch from eating rice to unlimited rotis!

So now you realise why we're pretending to be tribals, right?

Er... Not really.

Because this Niyamgiri issue is big. It's international and no one can shift us tribals from here for any mining-shining.

So we can have our toiletless hovels, grow 20 potatoes on our field, watch Bengali TV and eat rice again?

Well, here the people are adivasis, so no TV. And these people grow pineapple, mango and jackfruit on the mountains...

What? I'm not going up the hill! I have vertigo! I'd rather go back to Singur even if they build a factory there one day.

Do say: Bauxite chocolates, anyone?

Don't say: But what about the tribal teenager who wants to leave home?