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Reason out anger

india Updated: Dec 07, 2012 00:03 IST

Whenever we think of our flaws, anger is the last thing that comes to our mind; but it is a serious issue with everyone today. Everyone thinks that he/she has the right to be angry. It is very easy to listen to rules; count to ten, go out of the room, focus on positive things but in reality, when you are itching to reply back, when retorts are struggling to come out, then it’s very difficult to remember the rules and follow them.

I have been in this situation countless times; and I can safely say that most of us rationalise that the other person is provoking us. We all seek refuge in saying that “I was not going to say anything but he left me with no choice.” We think ourselves to be rational while doing and saying the most irrational things ever.

I can control whether to reply or remain silent. It’s my prerogative but yes, to exercise this control is the hardest thing. The sweet taste of victorious pride is hard to let go. The desire to revenge our wounded pride is irresistible and this is the very desire which creates friction between friends, destroys families and sometimes causes some people to commit unspeakable acts of crimes. And all the while, the secret to avoid all this lies within our heart.

As for me, when I feel getting myself worked up over anyone, I start reasoning and let the other person know my side of the story. I tend to shout less and listen more. I fail most of times but I carry on; victory is coming at least, even if in short bursts and spurts.

Most often than not, we regret our words whenever spoken in haste but this repentance comes very late. Sometimes we don’t even get the opportunity to apologise. If we can just listen to our inner voice whenever we are angry, we will not just save others from being hurt, we can save ourselves too from the inferno of rage and destruction.