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Royal touch

I say old chap, did you see those pictures of Michelle Obama giving the old Queen Elizabeth the squeeze?Erm, do go easy on that Bombay Sapphire, chum. The waiters are watching.

india Updated: Apr 05, 2009 21:11 IST

I say old chap, did you see those pictures of Michelle Obama giving the old Queen Elizabeth the squeeze?
Erm, do go easy on that Bombay Sapphire, chum. The waiters are watching.

Oh triple-drat to the table-boys! Weren't you a tad shocked by all that American touchy-feeliness?
Come, come, don’t be such a prude-fruit. Her Majesty also had her arm around Michelle’s waist when the two met at Buckingham Palace during the G20 summit in London.

Well, the Queen was wearing her customary white gloves. So technically, she wasn’t touching the First Lady. As for Michelle... My paper, The Daily Mail called it a breach of a ‘centuries-old protocol’.
Ah, but most Britons under 80 think that the monarch’s finally behaved like a normal human being.

Balderash, old chap! She’s not a normal human being and you know it! Egad, there’s even a song that says so.
Um, do tell me that you’re not referring to that 32-year-old blasphemous pop song that goes by the name of ‘God Save The Queen’ by that British abomination called the Sex Pistols?! They were being frightfully ironic, you know.

Hold your reins there, old boy. I didn’t say sex, I just said that that American girl touched her and Her Majesty may have had her gloved hand on her later.
Oh dear, that gin is getting to him. Hey waiter, bill le ao.

No, old chap. There was more than arms-hovering that day. Oh god, only if Queen Victoria was still around...
[To waiter] How dare you call me ‘Mr Banerjea’! Don’t you know that in this club everyone calls me Mr Stevens? Insolent Indian! Now tighten his cravat!

Do say: I do hope Mrs Gursharan Kaur also got a hug.
Don’t say: Didn’t Diana do this kind of thing?