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Saffron lessons

india Updated: Apr 12, 2010 23:13 IST

The BJP’s know-your-party website is a great idea. Log on to learn the fine art of political management.

The new BJP chief Nitin Gadkari is a man of many parts: he has now revealed his tech-savvy avatar. The BJP website will now offer an online package of 12-16 lessons on the party’s ideology which surfers can take a test on and get a certificate. What an idea, Nitinji!

We feel that this website has far more potential than Mr Gadkari realises. For example, we could have a portal devoted to deftness in demolition. In this surfers could be taught how to bring down a building, preferably an architectural monument in the shortest possible time with a skeleton squad. This could be put to use later in the real estate business. Next, we could have lessons on how to reinforce trucks to bear raths and mowing down detractors on the way. This will be a great boon to the automotive industry, even the army, if the Pakistanis get too antsy. We could have a few lessons on hairdressing from Sushma Swaraj who once threatened to shear off her tresses if Sonia Gandhi were to defeat her in an election. Sonia did win and Sushma did not go the Persis Khambatta way, but she certainly knows that it’s hair today, gone tomorrow judging by the fate of the party.

Lessons in humility and hand-wringing can come from the patriarch L.K. Advani himself and diction tips can from Venkaiah Naidu. Physical exercise and stress management can be courtesy Mohan Bhagwat who could also give us animal care tips given his veterinarian background. Quite a star cast of resource providers. Now if only Mr Gadkari could include a lesson on how to secure votes and win elections.