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Saheb, BiwiAur Porn

india Updated: Apr 17, 2011 15:01 IST
Shara Ashraf
Shara Ashraf
Hindustan Times
Highlight Story

Event manager Bindiya Kumar, (name changed) 27, tries hard to counter a wild urge several times a day — that’s poking her middle finger deep into her husband’s eyeballs every time she catches them glued to a porn sight. “It’s strange he finds those sighs and groans and weird acts sexually stimulating.

I can never subscribe to sick fantasies they film people indulging in. For me there’s just one word to define porn — it’s outright nauseating,” says Bindiya.

Kumar is not the only one who would vouch for blinding husbands than let them experience pornographic highs. “The number of relationships falling apart due to porn addiction has multiplied in the recent times. A large number of wives complain that their husbands are moving away from them due to their obsession with porn.

“Cases where women have refused to comply with their husband’s request of trying out what they see in porn clips has even resulted in men finding a partner outside their marriage,” says psychiatrist Dr Avdesh Sharma.

The novelty factor So, what draws a man to porn? “Men are aroused by visuals much more than women. Also the fact that they can indulge in multiple fantasies at the click of a button makes porn extremely exciting for them,” says Dr Sharma.

Is your guy ‘dating’ porn?
The worrying facts are that watching porn is not limited to a passive activity. “People get hooked to interactive sites, indulge in chats, ‘long distance sex’ and even expose themselves on web cam. Porn can lead to an extra-marital kind of a situation,” says Dr Sharma. It becomes a rewarding experience for the guy and he can start bonding with porn itself rather than his woman and it can wreck havoc on his relationship.

Dr Kamal Khurana, relationship counsellor says, “Porn urges a man to focus on the mechanical aspect of the sexual act, which is not even 2 % of the whole experience.” The man is not able to satisfy his partner as he is in a rush to satiate his own desires. It’s also cruel on his part to expect his wife to perform like a porn star. Porn makes his expectations unrealistic.

“It some cases, it can lead to severe complications in the person’s sexual life — erectile dysfunction, orgasm and ejaculation related issues are all results of porn addiction,” says Dr Khurana. It’s natural for a wife to feel repelled if her husband watches porn. “If her husband is dependant on porn for gratification, the woman tends to feel hurt, repelled and even insecure. The thought that he is imagining someone else while having sex with her can be painful,” says Dr Khurana.

What to do
If your husband’s fascination with porn is troubling, talk it out. Realisation is the first step towards solving the problem. Help your man accept that porn is ruining your relationship before it turns into an addiction. Once an addiction, it can feed on a person’s social and professional life. A guy can also help himself by not using the computer when the wife is away. Replace the time you spend watching porn with a hobby, advise psychiatrists.