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Sale and hearty

Italy’s selling of national treasures is no big deal. One look at our ‘gems’ and you’ll know we mean business.

india Updated: Jul 05, 2010 22:42 IST

We’re sold on the idea. Put a few knick-knacks that we’ve tired of on the pavement to raise a few pennies to tide us over. Pity that old Silvio (Berlusconi) thought of it first when he took a moment off from dancing the samba with assorted pole dancers in Brazil. Italy may have lost out in the World Cup stakes but it will sale through the present fiscal crisis by putting a few palazzos, lakes and islands on the block.

Now we know our pasta primavera when it comes to sacking the family silver. We aren’t sentimental about a few crumbling monuments. Show us the money and we might even hawk some of our treasured citizens, though some may be past their sell-by date. Mind you, it’s not that we don’t value them at home. But we feel that the world must see and be dazzled by the gems we have been hiding under our bushel all these years. We could sell you Pramod Muthalik of the Sri Rama Sene for a start. If you have problems with young people getting amorous in crowded places, be assured that he comes with a money-back guarantee if he doesn’t eliminate such tendencies within a given festive season. Or take Sri Sri Ravi Shankar. If you’re a bit short on food, he’ll teach you that man can indeed live by breath alone.

If you are the sort who looks for problems to every solution, Arundhati Roy could be up for grabs. She will lead you into that Garden of Eden where people will make designer vases with gun metal. You are now spoilt for choice, but wait, we have one more ‘for sale’ trinket up our sleeve and this is the big-ticket item. We offer you, for a few smackers in our numbered Swiss account, our democracy. Take it while the going’s good and you’ll never be the same or sane again. No takers? Well, no one’s going to top this one. So next time, you need some lung power to drown out your opponents or put your citizens through the wringer, don’t come crying to us. Our prices have just gone up.