Tempers flared today as a major Bollywood studio fired its head writer for inappropriately incorporating the burqa in the script of its next film - tentatively titled "Mein Tere Prem Ki Antakshari Hoon - Old Delhi's newest love story". According to sources associated with the movie, writer Sunny Nigam caught the director's ire when he wrote a scene where a woman decides to wear a burqa by choice.
After many attempts, a studio executive (name withheld) had this to say. "You have to understand - you can't just show people wearing a burqa in Bollywood movies by choice. Either you have to be a conservative woman who wants to blow up all of United States and who doesn't let her children goto school, or you have to use it in a situation where the lead actor gets stuck in a jam and needs to escape without being seen by anyone. You can't just break decades of traditional just because you want to! What next? Hiring actual Sikhs to play the dhol in songs instead of turbans on clean shaven people? White women in movies who do things other than act slutty and sleep with everyone? How can you have no respect for tradition? I don't know what these film schools are teaching nowadays."
Writer Indra Kumar however, said he has no regrets. "Look I believe in realism in scripts. Now this woman thought the burqa was a tool of empowerment so I wrote it. There are many such women in the world. I already broke the script at five points to include songs and provided an entry point for the director's best friend's cousin's daughter to make her first Bollywood appearance - how much more can I adjust? They can take a Karim roll and shove it up their ass".
The studio is said to have hired the producer's son as the new scriptwriter - who so far had been working as the assistant director.- code for generally hanging around the set and trying to get pictures with stars to upload on Facebook.
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