Some ideas are farfetched. Some are Mofarfetched, such as those dealing with stray dogs. Dog bites man, we are told, does not make news. Man bites dog does, probably more if he transmits into the canine’s bloodstream a rabies equivalent.
In parts of India’s often misunderstood North-east, man does bite dogs that are cooked after being slaughtered and sold for Rs 250-300 per kilogram. This seldom makes it to the news pages or channels, unless animal rights activists protest the ‘inhuman’ manner in which the dogs are transported — strung or heaped in gunny bags on maxi-cabs — and skinned in abattoirs.
The other day, a local daily came up with a rare report that combined cuisine with meat economy. It said how 15 slaughterhouses in Mizoram’s capital Aizawl slaughter 120 dogs every week and how local residents spend Rs 14 lakh annually on dog meat. Abattoir owners insisted the dogs, brought from Assam and Tripura, are slaughtered only after veterinarians certify them as healthy.
The trigger for this story was Punjab legislator Ajit Singh Mofar’s suggestion that all stray dogs in Punjab be sent to Mizoram, Nagaland or China. Other reports underscored the outrage — not all Mizos and Nagas devour dogs — caused by ‘this stereotyping of peoples culturally different from north Indians’.
But some took Mofar’s proposal with a pinch of salt, probably the bit that adds taste to a bowl of dog meat soup. A few went idiomatic about the ‘idiotic idea’ on social networking sites. “Every dog has its day, sometimes with the bone of publicity,” said one. “Let sleeping dogs lie,” said another, adding: “I mean China.”
Some saw the funny side. “It’s straynge that you haven’t heard of Mofarsightedness,” said a punster. “It is a trait that helps you do cur seva.” A second, obviously a rock music aficionado, said The Beatles lacked this attribute. “They would otherwise have worked like a stray dog on a hard day’s night.”
A few gave Mofar the ‘clean chit’ because he was ‘apparently overcome’ by India’s Look East policy. It made him set his sights too far eastward instead of zeroing in on a dog-disposing market closer home, they felt.
One suggested he needn’t have looked further than Ludhiana from his assembly seat in Chandigarh. Because that’s the address, apart from workplace Mumbai, of arguably the biggest dog blood drinker of all time.
The other day we read about Dharmendra blowing his fuse at daughter Esha Deol’s wedding. It allegedly had something to do with queries on why sons Sunny and Bobby skipped the marriage.
If not, the reason could have been a Congress MLA giving an actor turned BJP leader a dog’s chance of doing what he has always promised to — kutte, main tera khoon pee jaoonga!