Have you heard about how our best actresses find it humiliating these days to be called ‘item girls’?
And who are these ‘best actresses’?
Well, Katrina Kaif, for one, has said that she thinks ‘item girl’ is a derogatory term.
Hmm. Didn’t know she’s turned thespian. So what’s humiliating about being called an ‘item girl’ considering her role in the movie Blue isn’t supposed to have her playing Mother India?
Well, she just doesn’t like the word ‘item’.
Does she like the word ‘girl’?
Hmm, she hasn’t said anything about that. But she wants playing out 15 minutes of jhatka be termed ‘special appearance’
But then, what will you call Shah Rukh’s role in Bhoothnath, or Danny Dengzongpa’s in the forthcoming Acid Factory, or Bertrand Russell’s in Aman?
Er, ‘guest appearance’?
Frankly, even if you call the actresses’ bump’n’grind routine the ‘Nutcracker Suite’, it’s still be a bump’n’grind routine. I mean, if Helen didn’t want her cabaret sequences to be called ‘special appearances’ or ‘spring interludes’, why this new lot? It isn’t for higher fees now, is it?
Well, Rakhi Sawant has been followed by the likes of Aishwarya Rai, Kareena Kapoor, Shilpa Shetty, Amisha Patel...
You forgot to mention Mrs Nene who preceded this whole lot.
Is she one of the ladies clamouring for the term ‘special appearance’?
You must be joking. Madhuri — like the original ‘IT girls’ of Hollywood — didn’t care what she was called.
Don’t say: And the Best IFFI Item Girl Award goes to...
Do say: And the Best Special Appearance Oscar goes to....