Groucho Marx once said that he would not like to be member of any club that admitted people like him. Inspired by the profundity of this, I had decided not to marry any girl who agreed to take a dull guy like me as her husband.
Without, ahem, gloating, there were many of this type. In fact, how to refuse became a problem. The excuse that came handy, then, was: Sorryji, ladke aur ladki ki kundali nahin mili. (The horoscopes didn’t match).
When I first met my would-be wife, she looked so hostile that I almost yelled ‘eureka’ and gave her no chance to say no. And the issue got settled without anyone raising the question of a kundali.
Our marriage has turned out to be as precious as 22 K gold. Never mind the 2 carats of copper. You need it anyway to make a strong alloy. But we all know how wives are. Never quite so convinced. So, one has to be always on guard.
The other day watching TV, my wife asked, “Why have you never shown me your horoscope?” Taken unawares, I mumbled, “But I don’t have any?” She thought for a while and said, “My friend knows an astrologer. He can make your kundali. I only have to give him the time and date of your birth.”
“Which one — the official or real?” I asked. “Obviously, the real one,” she snorted. To dissuade her from the project, I said, “But it is the official date of birth which now defines my destiny.” She smelled a rat and said, “I know why you are avoiding it.”
“Why?” I asked.
“Because I suspect you are a manglik (inauspicious stars),” she said eyeing me as if I were an abominable Martian. “I want to be sure that you have not cheated on me,” she said pressing her point.
I got scared. ‘What if I am truly manglik?’ I wondered. Just then, I heard a voice calling out, “Use the Brahmastra (read, flattery), my son!”
I said sweetly, “Darling, you know I wouldn’t do that. As a matter of fact, I was born in the best planetary position.”
“How can you be so sure?” she asked.“If I were not, would I get you as my wife?” I said, scoring a perfect ten. A zillion-dollar smile and, well, the crisis passed.