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Stop thinking nonsense: Cyrus Broacha

And I’ll give you some relief…. err… that is, provided, I’m not doing a headstand at the time.

india Updated: Oct 07, 2013 16:17 IST
Cyrus Broacha

I've been dating my third cousin for a long time now. We’re very much in love and plan to marry soon. He lives in the US and I am two months older than him. Sometimes we doubt if our parents will agree for us to get married due to the age difference. I’m really confused about what to do.
— SOS! Anonymous
So, let me get this straight. Just so that I know I’ve not gone completely mad.You’re dating your cousin who is just two months younger and you’re worried that your parents will protest the ‘age’ difference. I can see that the ‘cousins’ part is not an issue, which is a wonder. Okay, so you’ve got a few choices: a) lie about his age; b) lie about your age; c) just lie in general; d) don’t marry your third cousin; e) forget him and move on to your fourth cousin. Oh, and yes, if all that fails, you can try talking to your parents. Don’t expect them to comply immediately but tire them gradually by talking about your love. Tell them, for example, that both Sachin Tendulkar and me are younger than our wives.

My boyfriend and I broke up because of our families. We were going to patch up after sorting issues out. But one of my friends told him that I had cheated on him. He believed this and we never spoke again. Eventually, one day, I did confess to him. At that point, he was already in a relationship with another girl. How do I get him back?
— HS
Naughty, Naughty HS. So you did cheat on him, ha? But all is not doomed. The play Troilus and Cressida reads exactly like your story. Though I’ve only read the first three lines of the play, so I should be the last one to comment on it. If he’s already seeing someone, it’s going to be tough. Wait for your turn patiently or you could slowly build up the rapport. If he allows you back into his life, then that means you’ve still got equity there. But don’t rush it. Trust takes time, rebuilding trust takes even more time. Ask your bank manager, he’ll tell you.

My girlfriend loves me a lot. But her parents are very strict. I’m afraid they will catch her when she is chatting with me. My sister also tells me that she could be caught red-handed. Should I leave her? What should I do?
—Rahul Nair
Rahul, I have two words to describe your thinking. These words I borrow from Rahul Gandhi, ‘absolute nonsense’. You know how many losers have encountered strict parents? Gazillions! It’s so common, but it’s not even considered to be an obstacle. Don’t be a coward if they censure you, your love will continue underground. Stop being a ninny and stop thinking ‘nonsense’.

Often, after getting detached from the person I love, I get attached to someone else. I do not know what’s on the mind of the girl I like currently. It’s impossible to read her mind. We used to meet and talk a lot. And suddenly, two months ago, it came to a standstill, and we are no longer talking. I called her up once after that, and she didn’t even recognise my voice. After I told her it was me, she started making excuses about how she couldn’t talk. I am heartbroken.
— Yash
Your experience of jumping from girl to girl is not uncommon. Let’s say it is shared by almost every other single, heterosexual male. Now, about the present girl, its clear in all 14 languages and 37 dialects, not to mention 83 sub dialects, that I speak — that she wants out . You need to let her go and go back to that thing you do best: lean on the next one.