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Swallow your ego

Uncle Cyrus resolves your relationship problems.

india Updated: Jul 02, 2012 18:27 IST
Cyrus Broacha

I’m 16 and I like a friend of mine. I asked her out recently, but she refused because she was already dating someone then. But now she is single. Should I go ahead and ask her again? Please help.
— Adi Adi, are you the famous filmmaker from one of Bollywood’s most prominent families? If you are, let me assure you, you have every right to write in. Although I must say someone with your money doesn’t have to stoop to such a cheap medium. Thanks to baseball, the answer to your query is fairly simple. In the sport, you are declared out on your third strikeout, similarly you have two more chances with this girl. Now if you are the famous producer/filmmaker, can I send you some of my recent headshots, as well as profile and full frontal?

I am 16 and I have a crush on a shy boy from my class. My friends tease me because of this. However, my best friend says that he too has a crush on me because he keeps staring at me and also blushes after seeing me. I have tried talking to him once, but he was not so responsive. Please help me.
— Miss Confused Miss Confused, MS Vaidyanathan’s book, The Teen Age Boy’s Almanac, holds the answer. Although this treatise is only one-page long, Vaidyanathan points out the ambivalent state of teenaged boys. Hormones and chemicals rage, and not always compliment one another. That’s why they blush and retire at the same time. The teenage boy shares this trait with the great Indian rhino and the venus flytrap. For the rhino, this happens in old age; as for the Venus flytrap, it dies well before its teenage years. Don’t be confused, go after him, you are far less confused than him, or that rhino.

I’m a 15-year-old girl and I’ve been dating a boy for the past one year. We broke up once because of our friends, who were jealous of our relationship. But we soon got back together. Recently, we broke up again. He even started dating another girl who I hated. At times I feel like dating other guys just to make him jealous. But I can’t do this, as I still love him. Also, my brother has stopped talking to me because of him. Please help me.
— Smriti Smriti, unfortunately as per the rate of payment, I'm only allowed to solve one problem per person, so brother or ex? From what you say, he broke up with you because of your friends. That’s a serious flaw in character. So, forget the ex, and make up with your brother.

I’m a 17-year-old girl. My classmate and I used to stare at each other a lot, but never dared to start a conversation. But we both like each other. Now he’s leaving school. Earlier, he used to send me messages everyday and reply to every text too. But now, all of a sudden, he has stopped doing this. What should I do?
— Prerna Prerna, staring is good but don’t overrate it. Anyone staring at Timur-i-lang for more than three seconds was executed, for instance. Texting holds the key to modern day romance. If the texts by both parties were consistent, you have a better chance than India has at the Olympics. Swallow your ego and open lines of communication. Now only if our government had followed our advice, we’d have solved the Kashmir issue by now.

Just write to uncle Cyrus: cyrus@hindustantimes.com

And I’ll give you some relief…. err… that is, provided, I’m not doing a headstand at the time.