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Take cover!

india Updated: Apr 21, 2010 22:04 IST

Iranian cleric Kazem Sedighi has an unlikely ally in the irreverent Mae West. She once said, “You can say what you like about long dresses, but they cover a multitude of shins.” In Sedighi’s case, make that sins. In an astounding scientific discovery, the cleric has pronounced that women in immodest clothing are causing earthquakes. We bet this is making all those seismologists who having been pouring over charts and graphs look a little stupid. There they were measuring tremors and studying the quality of soil when the answer was right under their noses. Let’s see how they cover this one up.

On the question of covering up, support for Sedighi comes from an unlikely Indian quarter and it’s not dear Muthalik of the Ram Sene or the sartorially suspicious VHP. It is from that doyen of modesty Rakhi Sawant. With the fervour of a Medici pope, the lady once known for the few centimetres of clothing that adorned her person, has informed us that the Bible feels that nudity leads to sin. Now, she may be right there. If, say, Cindy Crawford were to appear starkers in the middle of one of our cities, chances are that less than clean thoughts would pop into the heads of our lads. Having come to this realisation as Saul on the road to Damascus, old Rakhi has been making sure that none of her substantial assets are on view any more.

We would like to hear more from Sedighi. With his vast knowledge of the causes of natural disasters, he could be useful on how to deal with the Icelandic volcano that is causing such havoc. If the solution is a simple thing like adding an inch or two to your hemline, then so be it. Could it be that women in bathing suits are causing tsunamis? Sedighi is also a boon to a recession-hit fashion industry. Now all the top cats of couture can come out with a new version of the little black dress, the long black dress. Don’t want to expose anyone to temptation, not even Nature, do we?