There are some lines from a Tom Lehrer song called The Wild West is where I want to be which go: Mid the yuccas and the thistles/I’ll watch the guided missiles/While the old FBI watches me. This could have been sung by our old friend and neighbour, the Inter-Services Intelligence chief Shuja Pasha after the Americans took out his chief asset Osama bin Laden. The only difference is that Pasha is now watching India, specifying targets which he and his loony toons have apparently rehearsed hitting if we were ever to drop in without a gilt-edged invitation.
We admire his efforts to demonstrate his vigilance though the Indians have shown no inclination to carry out Operation Galauti Kabab. We are sure that he was scanning the skies with night vision equipment when the Americans swooped down. Now poor Pasha must not be blamed for having mistaken these night time visitors for some friendly arms dealers bearing some uranium or centrifuges with which he could frighten the Indians. Indeed, it’s possible that he set up the landing lights only to find them changing course and heading for Abbottabad. Clearly, he can’t say that he will target the Statue of Liberty or the Pentagon for fear that his fate will be sealed by another bunch of Seals. He also has to make sure that other visitors who are there on his invitation like the amiable Mullah Omar and the gentle Hafiz Sayeed are not inconvenienced by any midnight knocks on the noggin.
So, he has decided to play it safe and tell the Indians off. But we would like to know how he is carrying out the rehearsals. Is he bobbing up in a dinghy as his minions did on 26/11 across the waters? Has he sent in goats and camels laden with explosives creating a new breed of suicide bombers? Has he sent nuclear nutcase AQ Khan disguised as President Asif Zardari? Let us hope, for his sake, the Americans are not rehearsing their own script while he is about to stage his play in India.