The devil, they say, lies in the detail, or in this case voluminous details. Some schools in the Capital now want to know from parents of potential nursery school candidates such data as whether the child was delivered by Caesarean section or normally, did he or she cry at birth and what first words were uttered. Naturally, many parents are up in arms over this meaningless exercise that they feel constitutes an intrusion of privacy. Our advice to the offended parents is that they should not get their knickers in such a twist. Instead, if details are what schools want, details is what they should get.
On being asked the modalities of the child’s birth, the parent in question should supply a barrage of detail that should, if possible, stretch over additional pages that could form a mini-booklet. And as to first words, advise the school that short of the theory of relativity, the child pretty much recited the Iliad and verses of the Upanishad, being particular to always submit this information in written form. The parents must then offer to tell the school a few more bits and pieces like the state of their mental health exaggerating where needed how close to the brink they are when answering such ridiculous queries.
If this does not put the school off, a counter-offensive should be launched in which the questionee should ask the questioner for a run-down on their medical history and family antecedents. This, the parent must say is vital, since she has to entrust her ward into the care of the school. All this may put a question mark on your child’s entry into nursery. But you’ll at least have had fun being rejected.