The Bouncer | india | Hindustan Times
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The Bouncer

india Updated: Jun 17, 2010 00:26 IST

Hindustan Times
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Hey! Watch it! That nearly took my head off!

Sorry. I was aiming for the goal.

I can’t see any goalpost in this room.

Um, no, it’s there on the field two blocks away opposite that Mother Dairy outlet. It’s this damn football. It’s so badly designed that no one can control it.

You mean the new Adidas jabulani World Cup football that everyone’s complaining about?

Yes. It’s terrible. Even when I’m standing in front of a goalkeeper-less goal, I can’t get it in.

Hmm. What does the word ‘jabulani’ mean, anyway?

I believe it means ‘the ball that everyone hates’.

Hang on, I heard that it means ‘rejoice’ in Zulu...

Did you? Well, this new ball with grooves on its surface, developed by ‘Grip’n’Groove’ technology, was designed in Loughborough University, England, to make the ball more aerodynamic.

Hang on. You mean scientists from England were responsible for England goalie Robert Green letting the ball pass between his palms in the match against the USA?

Probably, if you’re Green’s friend. But then, the jabulani also may have made Brazilian Maicon’s ‘impossible zero-degree’ possible against the North Koreans on Tuesday.

Maybe with the jabulani, India will finally play world-class football.

Do say: The jabulani is behind global warming, airborne diseases and that stupid woman who keeps yapping aimlessly on ESPN before and between matches.

Don’t say: How about an aerodynamic rectangular football?