We are glad to announce the return of the ‘foreign hand’ which had been consigned to the attic for far too long. And it has been dusted and restored to its former glory by none other than our custodian-in-chief, Prime Minister Manmohan Singh. He feels that US-based NGOs are behind the local protests against the Kudankulam nuclear power station in Tamil Nadu. Though in his mild manner, he has only alluded to such NGOs not understanding the needs of developing countries, the irony of the power station being aided by Russia is not lost on us. We are thrilled. This has shades of the Cold War. At this rate, we’ll be in business for a bit while we set off on the trail of various plots hatched by the West and Russia against each other. Move over Pakistan, we have bigger fish to fry.
But these US-based NGOs have cast their net quite wide. They are apparently also at the forefront of efforts to deny us Bt brinjal. But we shall not be thwarted, we will have our baingan and eat it too if required in the national interest. Never mind that we might suddenly find ourselves morphing into teenage mutant ninja turtles. Now that we have traced the root of most evil, we will not be required to give those tedious explanations on issues like why illegal mining is being allowed or why funds for health are being siphoned off. No, those who ask these questions will be laughed out of court — don’t the nincompoops know that these are canards spread by foreign agencies to malign us? And worse still, there are those who walk among us who are hand-in-glove with the foreign hand. And we are not about to sit back and hand them any victory on a platter.
Yes, the atomic power station may spring a leak or two, those in the vicinity may start glowing in the dark, but Indians never, never shall be slaves to the foreign hand. So those who want to do business with us would do well to come in from the cold. Or feel us turn up the heat if things carry on like this.