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Thoda adjust kar lo

india Updated: Oct 23, 2011 10:45 IST
Highlight Story

MHA [Ministry of Home Affairs] allows use of Hinglish in official work
The Times of India, October 13

The government order is limited to allowing the use of common English terms in official Hindi work. But the floodgates have been opened and Hinglish may soon become our official language. Here's what the Reserve Bank of India governor's monetary policy announcement would look like then:

Monetary policy statement: Namaste-ji. With reference to the above, see my below.

Global economy: Situation is tense but under control. As you all know, in the past few years, global economy has become ekdum ulta-pulta. Lot of hungama is happening in Europe. Some say it is a gone case. Full tension hai. America is ghasitofying along, but growth in gross domestic product there has only been so-so.

Indian economy: We are pulling along, although I can't say we are doing first-class. See, the political vatavaran is a bit dooshit. Arrey, plenty of natak going on there, lots of nakhras . Many 420 people are in top places. And with all this tamasha and what-not, that has become a bahana for babus not to take decisions. They say if they make a wrong move people will say character dheela hai. So investment is going phut. Basically, there is lack of trust, even among chuddy buddies.

But look on the bright side. In fact, comparing India to western countries, I will say we are lajawaab. Our economy can grow at 7.5% per annum, but what to say, dil maange more. Actually, yehi hai right time, baby, waqt hai India ko shine karne ka.

Fiscal policy: We must have a jugalbandi between fiscal and monetary policy, I mean we can't go alag alag. I can't tighten monetary policy upfront if Pronob-da comes from the backside and loosens fiscal policy, no? But you know the old saying, no point being in water and fighting with crocodile. After all, why unnecessarily take panga with the ministry? I am not saying apply makkhan, all I'm saying is compro kar lo, yaar.

Monetary policy stance: We RBI people have faced lot of criticism for raising interest rates. My bheja has been fried because of it. But kya karein, inflation is so high. Most of the criticism is arbit - after all, we don't raise interest rates just for time pass. Some of the critics are just taporis doing nautanki. In fact, many central bankers (not sidey ones) have said, 'Congrats, Subbarao sahib,' for my zabardast monetary policy. Mazaa aa gaya, but I modestly told them mention not.

The problem is some people will give us gaalis if we do not raise interest rates to fight inflation, while others give us bamboo if we raise rates because it will lower economic growth. See, monetary policy complicated hai, tubelights won't understand it. We have to be careful in making our moves, it is like line maroing.

We have been increasing interest rates - yehi hai right choice so far. As for slowing growth, we think this is waqt waqt ki baat - sometimes growth is high, sometimes it is low. I truly believe ki apna policy fit hai ji. I would request you not to worry, be bindaas, rest assured I will kindly do the needful.

I therefore propose to toss a coin on 25 October, just before Diwali, to decide whether to increase interest rates or not. I think this is the cent-per-cent correct policy. If not: I weep for your loss. But thoda adjust kar lo boss.

Chalo then, bye. Ciao-ji, Happy Diwali.

Manas Chakravarty is Consulting Editor, Mint

The views expressed by the author are personal