It is the worst thing we can think of ever since the hapless protagonist of Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho found herself confronted by a deranged Norman Bates — clutching a knife and dressed up like mummy — while in the shower. Now, if researchers from Colorado University are to be believed, the next time you step into the shower for that invigorating spray of water, what you will get instead is a stream of dangerous pathogens.
Showerheads are, we gather, the breeding ground for such lethal organisms. And with that we can truly throw the baby, bathtub, shower and sponge out of the window. Given the choice between living to a ripe old age and smelling ripe, most of us would plumb for the former. Avoiding showers could change interpersonal relations as we know it. “Not tonight darling, I’m not feeling too smell,” could be something we might hear in future. Those with a pathological aversion to hygiene will, however, rejoice at this finding. In fact, they will take to being unwashed not quite as ducks to water. This could lead to some ingenious solutions. Perhaps we are looking at the day when we can dry clean ourselves. Already we have been told that a long soak in the tub only results in our own germs re-entering our bodies like the Voyager coming back home. And now a shower could see you throw in the towel.
So perhaps we should stick to the trusty bucket bath. But, rest assured that some shyster researcher will find a colony of bacteria lodged in them. In which case, let us deodorise ourselves, oops sorry, that would add to the CFC content in the atmosphere. Well, we’ll just have to keep our noses to the grindstone, bath or no bath. And that’s nothing for you to sniff at. That’s just the odour of things to come.