The Delhi authorities appear to have had an epiphany. And it’s not because Easter is advancing upon us. They have suddenly realised the larger truth that 70 per cent of dhabas where people go to nibble their favourite street food are illegal. And, heavens above, any moment, the Commonwealth starter’s gun will go off. So in the manner of the Queen of Hearts, off with all of them before some unsuspecting soul from the Commonwealth delegation is felled by an unsanitary gol gappa.
The immutable truth that beggars inhabit all corners of the city also escaped the eyes of those with a higher calling. So, like you’d return a crate of apples gone bad to the shopkeeper, they too have to go back where they came from. And while schools remain open in icy and scorching weather, they will get a 15-day break when the fun and games begin. In other words, life as we know it will metamorphose come the epochal event. Now many may kvetch and grumble at this. But not those of us with a sunny disposition.
Let us take this opportunity to get rid of a few more eyesores like all that encroachments in residential areas and parks. And to have our beloved Municipal Corporation of Delhi workers looking bright-eyed and bushy-tailed at all times instead of dozing on the job. And perhaps our VIPs could also stay at home so that their screeching convoys don’t mow down participants in the Games and those who’ll come to see them. And certainly, we should do away with slums and perhaps give people aesthetic housing in Lutyens Delhi where there is a surplus of land. We’re really warming up to this now. Oh, and take steps to keep under control that famous Delhi spirit that involves depositing bodily fluids in public and giving anyone who gets in your way a few friendly whacks. Ah yes, we are certainly game for all this provided we are not asked to make ourselves scarce.