Who was that man violently coughing and wearing Shahnaz Husain's clothes last night on television?
How dare you talk about the Guide of the First of September Great Revolution of the Socialist People's Libyan Arab Jamahiriya like that?!
I thought your birthday's in December. Why are you, a Sagittarian, following a horoscope for Librans?
May the camel's dung turn wet in your serpent-addled anus! It's not Libra but Libya, you nephew of a Zionist dromedary! The man on TV was none other than Colonel Muammar Gaddafi, the Arab world's Che Guevara, telling his people how much he loves them.
Oh, he's the bloke who wears those cool sunglasses and has the all-woman Amazonian Guard to protect him. What was that green telephone directory he was waving in his hand yesterday?
That was, praise upon the radiating prostrate of the blue-skinned Berber tribes, Col Gaddafi waving The Green Book, his classic 1975 treatise for ruling Libya, from his stronghold in Tripoli.
Yes, he certainly looked all tripolied out.
Do say: The protestors are all American hippies conceived while their parents smoked Jewish herbs! Death by slow fatal gum disease to them all!
Don't say: Dogs, rats, cats...