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Why Air India Rocks!

Stop, there's no reason to fold up Air India just yet! A lot - yes, a lot - depends on the pointless institution staying afloat, says Gursimran Khamba.

india Updated: May 03, 2011 11:53 IST
Gursimran Khamba

I'm a frequent flier on Air India, or as my friends call it, f****d. Actually, I'm not. But given that I usually travel by bus across India, I assume I know exactly what it feels like. Still, this is not a column to diss Air India. It is to highlight the positives that make it an integral part of our culture.

The recent pilots strike led to a lot of Indians demanding the airline be sold for being a waste of taxpayer money. This is nothing but wannabe Republican talk by MBAs high on the juice of their squeezed diplomas. As an Indian would you ever put your grandmother in an old age home just because she stopped contributing to household chores because of her vegetative state? Such was their can do attitude, the website continued to publicise dates of walk in GD/PIs for cabin crew (sweet given how half of it is in wheelchairs) and the addition of a new flight to Thiruvananthapuram (right below the schedule of flights cancelled that day) along with a hot model pretending to work at their call centre, who I later found was a gentleman from Raigarh named Parveen Kumar.

Air India
The recent pilots strike led to a lot of Indians demanding the airline be sold for being a waste of taxpayer money.
Air India also provides middle-class passengers a chance to travel without violating their moral code. A co-passenger in a private airline once remarked while the stewardess went through the flight safety instructions "Arre jahaaz neeche giraa toh hum toh tumhe hi pakad lenge". This would never happen in Air India because no one responds to mothers this way. Infact, the in-flight food in unbranded boxes reminiscent of school picnics provides an added sense of nostalgia while providing children from broken homes the only chance to experience a mothers love and hatred simultaneously. Unlike other airlines, no Air India employee has ever been photographed without panties.

The pension benefits and mobility of hundreds of babus of gave their lives to the country depend on AI staying afloat, and we must respond like the Americans to continue bailing out pointless institutions that are too big to fail. Also their Chicken Tikka - it's awesome.


Gursimran Khamba is a pissed off writer, stand up comic, podcaster, social media junkie and lover of all fried foods. Except bananas.Follow him on Twitter at www.twitter.com/gkhamba