We are deeply offended. We had thought that given our growing status in the world we would be taken a little more seriously in global surveys and not left out in the cold as we have been. A study done by The Lancet covering 122 countries has found that Britain, Saudi Arabia, the United Arab Emirates and South Africa are among the laziest in the world. Tell us, where have we failed to prove our credentials? Don’t we have enough evidence to show that we should have been at least in the top five? Clearly, this smacks of prejudice.
A swing around our country will show half done projects, from roads to bridges to buildings because, all together now, we were too lazy to complete them. At roundabouts our babus will be found snoozing after a hearty lunch and to hell with the files they are meant to push. Our motto, in case the shysters at The Lancet did not know, is ‘always put off till tomorrow what can be done today.’ We are known for our procrastination, and yet we have been cruelly ignored. When it comes to malingering and loitering we are experts extraordinaire as a visit to any mofussil town will show you. We are the sultans of the shortcut and proud we are of it.
Perhaps, just perhaps, we have not been considered because we are below the radar of the requirements to qualify. In which case, we have no grouse. But if the omission is intentional despite our reputation as shirkers loathe to do any work, then we must register a strong protest. Now Saudi Arabia has the advantage of women not being able to find work due to social constraints and hence they are inactive. But we face no such constraint and yet are inactive. Surely we deserve a mention just for that. We would have gone into the statistics of the whole survey to disprove these findings. But it is time for us to take a break. We will, of course, bring you more on this, but for the moment, we are worn out writing this editorial. Excuse us while we put out the ‘do not disturb’ sign.