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Worst of the lot

Kuriakose Saju brings you the worst videogame adaptations in Hollywood’s history.

india Updated: Oct 29, 2008 13:16 IST
Kuriakose Saju

Max Payne is finally hitting the big screen. Set for an October release, this one stars Mark Wahlberg as the ultracool DEA agent who set out to wreak havoc and exact revenge from those who killed his family in the first installment. Oh, it's got Mila Kunis as well, who played the totally bratty Jackie from That 70s Show.

Well, given that videogames usually have a very poor track record at the box office, I thought it would be apt to compile a list of the worst videogame adaptations in the history of Hollywood. Hopefully, Max Payne, will fare better. So, without further ado, here’s the list of the worst videogame adaptations ever made. Please note that they are in no particular order because, frankly, they’re all worse than the other ... that makes them all equally bad!!!

Lara Croft:
Tomb Raider Alright, we all love Lara Croft! We all love Angelina Jolie as well. The disaster here was the plotline and all the action we were looking forward to. There’s not one scene here that actually has you on the edge of your seat. And the fact that an actor like Daniel Craig, who brought James Bond back to his original gritty, macho self, is so wasted here.

Doom
We all loved him when he used to yell, “Do you smell-l-l-l-l-l what the Rock… is cooking?!” We also accepted him when he decided to play the Scorpion King in The Mummy Returns. But when he decided to re-invent a videogame franchise that we grew up with, Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson found himself losing a large portion of his fan base.

Street Fighter
Jean Claude Van Damme, at one point of time, could seriously trash bad guys. Remember Kickboxer or even Bloodsport? Unfortunately, the biggest problem here was that the makers of movie basically just took the characters out of the game and made up their own story. Ryu and Ken are conmen for some godforsaken reason and for a game that’s about hand-to-hand combat, all you see is guns, guns and lots more guns!

Super Mario Bros.
No list of worst videogame adaptations is complete without this one. And it hurts! This is one of the greatest games to be made ever and the movie is one of the worst. In fact, this movie is so bad the actors themselves have disowned it. I ain’t kidding. When asked what was the worst thing he ever did, Bob Hoskins who plays Mario in the film, is said to have said ‘Super Mario Bros.’

And Toad isn’t supposed to be a reptilian beast. He’s supposed to be a cute mushroom person. Sheesh! There are so many other movies that deserve mention here but I ain’t going to go there. That’s gonna be my first attempt at a full fledged book. –www.split-screen.com