Either it was utter drivel or a runner-up for the Pulitzer Prize in the New-Age category. Clicking away on my keyboard, I swallowed several ‘page-downs’ of literary gobbledygook. Wait a minute, was there a secret message embedded somewhere in this esoteric communication?
The message finally gave itself away in humble text: Xanax, Levitra and Viagra were now available at $3.99! Alternatively, I could drop $25 in one week with that weight-loss panacea lurking just a couple of clicks away. Internet spam holds the record for the number of cases involving violation of privacy. Unknown to me, by clicking open that terse message on zero per cent interest loans, I had just activated a ‘web bug’ that beaconed a message that my email address actually existed, and I was ready for millions of other spam messages.
<b1>Thanks to a crooked mind, my email filters fail me these days. ‘V/A/lium’ slips easily past my ‘Valium’ wall. Nor can I escape ‘Mortgage palooza’ since my dense email programme cannot tell ‘Mortgage’ from ‘morti-fication’. Gone are those days when the greatest threat to my email privacy was that stray one from the ‘Blessed Brothers of the Benediction’ requesting me to forward their communiqué to 10 willing recipients.
I clench my teeth in utter fear even as I start up my email programme. Why was email@example.com requesting for personal details including height, weight, colour of my eyes, and verifying my credit card and bank account number? Why would Mbote Ukululu from Nigeria be so kind to transfer a sum of $10 million to my bank account?
With my extensive email filter mechanisms I rarely receive messages from my friends — innocent pictures are consigned into the trashcan. Having screened out ‘enhance’ and ‘length’ I have missed out on the editor’s note pleading me to extend the wordage of my recent submission.