Once bitten, twice for a child | kolkata | Hindustan Times
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Once bitten, twice for a child

kolkata Updated: Feb 13, 2009 00:08 IST
Mou Chakraborty

A survey conducted by secondshaadi.com, a second marriage portal, revealed various reasons for remarriages in India and the desire for having a biological child topped the list, closely followed by a more or less similar feeling of wanting to have a family of one’s own.

The respondents of this online poll were all registered members of secondshaadi.com between the age group of 27 and 40 and were looking for a partner for the second time in their lives.

As many as 52 per cent of the respondents wanted to take the plunge for the second time because they wanted to have kids and start a family. Years back, people often got married for a second time to have children when the sexual incapacity of their partner prohibited the couple from having kids. This remains true even today. It also has something to do with the numerous taboos about adoption.

“After I divorced my first husband I wanted to adopt a girl but my parents insisted that I should get married again and have my biological children. Not only did they refuse to accept someone else’s child as their granddaughter but they also felt that being an unmarried single mother is not easy even in the 21st century,” said Shalini Kundu, a teacher in a renowned school in central Kolkata, who is now happily married and is also expecting her first child in a few months.

“Now that I am pregnant, I can tell you having your own child is also a unique experience. I think I did the right thing by getting married again,” she said with a smile. However, not everyone like Shalini married again to have a biological child because of parental and social pressure.

Many people who already have kids from their first marriage are still not keen on marrying again. Only 12 per cent of the respondents were men or women who had kids from their previous marriage and were also looking for a partner to complete their family.

Commenting on the survey, Vivek Pahwa, CEO, secondshaadi.com, said: “With this survey we aim to analyse the common reasons for separation and remarriage and help our members overcome their inhibitions and start afresh.”

“Compared to 2008, this year we have already seen a 20 per cent rise in registration. This means that the rate of divorce is going up here. And the main reason for the breakups is emotional incompatibility. Another reason is that women now are more independent and many do not want to compromise if they find their partner incompatible,” said Ankur Warikoo, co-founder of the portal.

The survey, divided under two sections — reasons for remarrying and reasons for divorce -- was conducted online among members of secondshaadi.com across India.