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HindustanTimes Fri,19 Dec 2014

Can't make your affair last long? Here's what you do for a happy ending

Divya Makhija, Hindustan Times   June 13, 2014
First Published: 16:43 IST(13/6/2014) | Last Updated: 20:14 IST(13/6/2014)

You've tasted the rush of a relationship, but don't know how to deal with the jitters of your need to make the ride last long? You huff and puff your way along for some time, but before you realize, its splitsvilla. Been there, done that?

Call it one of the biggest struggles of modern life: the abysmally short shelf-life of our relationships. Play it smart and you could be laughing your way to bliss… Here's help at hand. 

Also read | Love (affair) is in the air: 10 office romance dos and don'ts
 
INTERNET
Blame it on the world wide web! More specifically, the biggest culprits are all those social networking sites and forums that keep you busy. Most people fail to realize that the time they waste in the virtual world is much more than what they spend with their partners. Both of you have met to spend some quality time together, and this is the time your partner must have your complete attention.

What you can do: Next time you are with your partner, don't waste your time checking your friend's latest Facebook post. You also don't need to tag the restaurant both of you are having dinner at, or the movie you're watching. Shun the virtual world till both of you are together and live in the real world. Your partner deserves all your attention.

PHYSICAL ATTRACTION
Yes, looks matter, but it need not be the only basis on which your relationship rests. The trouble starts when you get used to the same 'look' that ensnared you not too long ago, and expect more from your partner. Yes, looks can be deceptive. Neither can it carry the burden of a crumbling relationship. 

What you can do: Remember, mutual understanding, and respect, isn't a given just because a person has a charming personality. Before you commit to a relationship, get to know the person better. Ask yourself questions, about compatibility etc, and take the plunge only then.

Read | 7 tips: want to get over an ex? We tell you how

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INSECURITY AND DISTRUST
Given the breakneck speed of our modern-day life, it's no wonder that we get to spend little time together. And this lack of quality time together leads to two big banes: insecurity and distrust. The first few months of any relationship is the most critical time, and when couples are not able to spend time together, it is a recipe for disaster. Suspicion is one of the biggest problems many couples fail to overcome.

What you can do: We obviously don't support blind trust, but you'd do a world of good to your relationship if you share most details of your life with each other. Tell your partner how your day in the office was, share details about your friends etc. It will make your partner feel involved in your life, and it is a healthy practice.

IMPATIENCE
Patience pays, in relationships too! Maintaining a relationship is no easy task, and it requires bucket loads of patience and perseverance. When start an affair, you are in it for the long run. Remember, fights and differences in opinions are part of the deal you've opted for and there is no escaping this bitter truth.

What you can do: Not much, other than telling yourself that you'd hang in there. Only your unflinching determination will help both of you sustain the affair. Whenever you are faced with a problem, or an issue, don't take unilateral decisions. Discuss it with your partner and plan a course of action that both of you agree with.

Read: Six signs that show man, woman can't be 'just friends'

NO WORKLIFE BALANCE
There is no way you can wish away this problem. Sadly, it is one of the biggest banes of modern-day relationships because most couples fail to strike a balance between these two aspects of their life. It's no easy task, but not impossible either.

What you can do: Once you leave office, stop worrying about what you've done in the last eight hours or so. If there's nothing much you can do till you reach office tomorrow, why worry about it now? Instead, spend that time with your partner and believe us, you'd be very happy with your decision.


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