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HindustanTimes Fri,24 Oct 2014

Draw the line between flirting and cheating

Hindustan Times  Mumbai, March 04, 2013
First Published: 14:47 IST(4/3/2013) | Last Updated: 17:09 IST(4/3/2013)

My girlfriend is mischievous and has a tendency to lie. I feel she’s a little flirty when it comes to dealing with men. This aspect of her personality makes me doubt her commitment. How do I find out whether she’s lying or not without having to spy on her?
—Mr Confused 
Behavioural scientists Ashely and Ball, in their epic work, Penguins Do fly on Tuesday, pointed out great similarities between penguins and our species; such as both the species are scared of polar bears, but let’s focus on the flirting here. As per these experts, both the species have three romantic personality types:
1) The out-and-out habitual flirt?
2) The more subtle but dynamic flirt.
3) The type who can’t tell the difference between a lettuce and an attractive penguin.

Now only if you’re dating the third category should, you be worried. Enjoy the fact that she flirts and is popular. Trust her. There’s a line between flirting and cheating. By the way, I’m also an expert on lettuce if you have any other queries.

I’m in love with a girl from my college. I asked her out two months ago, but she refused because she has a boyfriend. Then I started ignoring her, but now she says she feels lonely. I want to be with her. How can I convince her to be with me?
—Sam Fisher
Hello. Mayday mayday! What happened to the boyfriend? Is he still there? Has he gone? Is she lonely despite him being around? You know, I can’t work my magic without the details. I mean, could Pierre Cardin stitch a sweater without cloth? Let’s assume she’s lonely and he’s still around. Then clearly he’s not working for her. Suleiman — The Magnificent felt lonely despite a 1,000 strong harem, not to mention 80 eunuchs. If she’s hinting, make your play. What, now do you want a formal invitation?

I am 22 and my girlfriend is 19. Things were good between us, until she met Miss M, who started sharing her personal problems with my girlfriend. She told her about how she had this possessive boyfriend and why they eventually broke up. After my girlfriend heard this story, she started avoiding me. Then a few days ago our exam results were revealed — I passed and she failed. Since then, she has switched her phone off and isn’t talking to anyone. I’ve evaluated myself and I’m not a possessive guy. Is this a cue for me to abandon this relationship?
—Alexi
Brother Alexi, my distant relative Julius Gaus Ceasar (pet name, looloo) was murdered because his erstwhile friend Cassius poisoned other men’s minds. The power of the malicious tongue is unparalleled. The worst thing is she failed. So when thought is followed by an event, the poison spreads quickly. You need to pull out all your weapons (metaphorically, so please keep your clothes on) and reach out to her in the most sincere manner. Help her prioritise her life and regain balance. Initially, support her and don’t malign her friend. After you win her trust back, you can go to town with a little maligning of your own.

I am 17 and I have a crush on this guy, who I can tell, likes me, but never says anything. I want him to propose to me. What should I do?
 —Ms Confused
You like him and he likes you — problem over. If he’s not making the move, you should. Does it matter who initiates the communication? Once the chemical reactions start happening to both parties involved the experiment is deemed a success. So love on, love on.


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